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Share this page with a friend Click file, then send. Weird Lucas An original story written by "M" and "E" when they were 7 and 8 years old. "M!” “E!” “You’re going to the Macane Ranch," said Mom, "pack your suitcases, too!" M and E scurried off to pack their suitcases. "E, let's pack our kid sized cop kit," said M. "Do you always have to bring that?" Mom asked. "Yeah, they might do something illegal," M said. "Well, you girl’s go to fantasy places, and remember, have fun with Mark!" said Mom. M and E had just been wondering if there would be any more excitement, like a week ago, when E cut her hair (well Mom cut her hair). M and E have brown hair and brown eyes. E has sun-tanned legs, and both M and E love to write books. E packed her water squirter and so did M. "We can get his precious shirt wet." E said, laughing. M and E packed their toothbrushes, their toothpaste, 14 different shirts, and pants. They also packed their glow in the dark shoes. M packed her camera. E packed her sound recorder, and her invisible video camera that sticks on ceilings and goes on all TV's. M packed her own invention, an embarrassing Dream Only recorder that transports embarrassing dreams to your TV and into a video. Then you label the names and put in the video and…… Tada! You watch the embarrassing dreams. Since it comes with a 2 square foot TV, it has a button that shrinks it for easy packing. The video may be 10 hours long, but will be enchanting. "We are ready to go!" M shouted. Mom and Dad hopped in the truck and drove only to the middle of Texas. Then it was night. Mom leaned over and threw the car seats to the front of the truck where she was sitting, and put a baby mattress there. M and E slept on it and Mom and Dad slept on the roadside in sleeping bags. M wanted to watch E’s embarrassing dreams, but Mom or Dad would see light in the window. E turned on the truck for a second to see the time. It was 7:39 AM. They all fell asleep. They got hooked and Dad started to go to New Mexico. They were at the Macane Ranch. "Have fun! Now we are going to Alaska!" said Mom UN-calmly. Lucas Macane stepped out of the Macane Ranch door. "Hi!" said Lucas. "My son Mark is at school!" M and E hurried out of the truck with their suitcases. "Bye!" said Mom. "Bye, bye." said Dad. M and E took off into the Macane Ranch house. Lucas ran after them saying: "Do not look in my room! Do not look in my room!" M and E didn't look in Lucas's room. "Mark's home," grumbled Lucas. Mark walked into the house. "Hi," said Mark. "Are these guests?" "Yes," said Lucas. "Oh, hello MARK!" said E. E said Mark with capital letters because she was sarcastic. "I will show you your room," said Mark walking to another room. "You sleep in the same room on a separate bed," said Mark. There were two beds in one room. There was a fancy chandelier with the words GUEST ROOM on it. "Okay," said M. "Go play with Mark, while I'm at the Blacksmith," said Lucas. Lucas picked up his rifle and walked away. "I have a horse! Ha!" bragged Mark. "We used to have a possum! Ha!" E bragged. "And we had a stinky garage! It was covered with chicken and possum poo. We didn't even hold our little nosies," M added. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Mark screamed! Possums were too fancy for him! "I bet you don't have a good scary true story about your parents, ha!" Mark cried. "My mom was sick and her face was pale. My dad called the doctor and he gave her die medicine, and she looked even sicker. The doctor left to get the good medicine, but was too late. And to this day, when the doctor sees die medicine, he smiles and mutters, "I'm glad I did it," Mark whispered. "We have an even scarier story," bragged M and E. "Our mom and dad were on their honeymoon in M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. They went to the Trade Winds Hotel. There was hardly anyone there. They went to their room and heard a parroty voice say, "Get out of here!" They went in the lobby in the morning and saw in the employee room there were people singing Killing Me Softly and one other guy just sitting, motionless, not singing," E told. "Let's jump on the bed!" E shouted. "No, lets go eat chili beans," said Mark. "You really do want to, but your dad wants you to be good," M said. "How did you know?" Mark asked. "Because you're a kid," E said. Mark made chili beans. "You don't have Tabasco in this!!" M shouted. "What's that?" Mark asked. "A Louisiana thing!!!!!!!" M screamed. "You're so red," Mark and E laughed. Just then Lucas came in. "What are you yelling about?" Lucas asked. "It's not spicy enough," M said. "Oh, we have state cabinets. Where do you come from?" Lucas asked. "Louisiana," M replied. Lucas got a remote control. It looked like their DVD remote control. Lucas pressed a button that said LA. A cabinet popped open and M grabbed the Tabasco. She put some in her chili beans and then let go of it. It floated through the air back into the cabinet. Lucas pressed a button that said CLOSE. It closed. M gobbled up her yummy chili beans. "It must be easy to eat in Louisiana," said Mark. "We eat New Mexican hot rolls," said Mark. "Don't forget tortillas," said Lucas.  M
and E ran outside. They saw a Kool-Aid fountain. It was no-stain
Kool-Aid. M and E took a drink. M and E got their bags and brushed their
teeth. "Good thing Lucas didn't catch us," E remarked. M and E ran into a nearby meadow that was down the road. M saw a dead cockroach. She ran back inside and put it in Mark's pillowcase. M ran back out and started towards E. Then some Chinese kid pounced on her! M shook the kid off of her. M ran to E without seeing who the person was. M noticed he had clothes in his hand. M and E walked back to the Macane Ranch. Mark came to greet them. "Hey! Guess what! You are going to school with me!" said Mark. M said about the Chinese kid. "The Chinese kid is my friend," said Mark. Lucas came outside onto the porch and said, "Time to go to bed, and I'll ride you to school in my wagon tomorrow." M and E sarcastically marched to their room while Mark slowly trudged after them. "Do not sarcastically march!" shouted Lucas. M and E paid no attention. As Mark was lying in bed he soon fell asleep. Mark started to have a dream. Mark's dream: Mark was in a super hotel with a theater. Then a cute voice said, "Get out of here." Out of the dream: Mark is very afraid of cuteness so he woke up. "Ah! Daddy! Daddy!" screamed Mark 1,000 times. Lucas came running. "What is poor son whining about?" cried Lucas. "I had a bad dream Daddy!" said Mark. "Ahhhhhh....." said Lucas soothingly. "There is nothing to worry about, it's just a dream and it's all over." Mark said thank you and got out of bed to get on his clothes. Mark came down the stairs for breakfast. "We got up at 1:00," said M and E. "Really? I only got up at 7:09," said Mark and Lucas. M and E turned cute like snuggle nuggle baby. "Help! Daddy get the.....super-squirters that turn people into statues that are not cute!" shouted Mark. Lucas ran to get the squirter. Lucas came back with the squirter. He pointed it at M and E. "Raise your hands," said Lucas. M and E raised their hands and slapped Mark and Lucas to the floor. "Grrrrrr," said Mark and Lucas. "I'll spank you!" said Lucas. M and E ran outside to the Kool-Aid fountain. Lucas came out and said "I'll give you double spankings until your butts are glowing red!" M and E thought it didn't hurt at all because they put on plastic butts that have cotton high above your butt so it doesn't hurt. M and E fake cried so Lucas would not suspect that they had on fake butts. "Oh no! We'll be late for school!!!!!!" Mark screamed. M and E threw their food in their mouths and choked! Then an invisible force squeezed their bellies and their food popped out. "How did you do that, Sir Lucas?" E asked. "We have a life saving control that has buttons that say, CHOKE, CUT, POKED OUT EYE, BROKEN ARM, BROKEN LEG, HEART ATTACK, and no-cold." said Lucas, feeling great and mighty SIR LUCAS. They all went to school. The teacher was Mrs. Dunkeroe. "We are only going to come here for 1 more day," M said. "Mark Macane, are these your new friends?" Mrs. Dunkeroe asked happily. She had glasses, golden hair, and bright red lipstick. "Names please," said Mrs. Dunkeroe. "Zangyoy ChangHo," the Chinese kid cried. "Beth Grethfrlow," the girl with olden day brown hair to M’s left said. "Mark Macane," Mark said. "John Devern," said the bully who sat behind M. "Lizzie Luquerly," a girl shouted. "Now all the new kids who are adorable, new, and not temper rising, stressful kids,” said Mrs. Dunkeroe. "M of Metairie, LA,“ said M. "E, same genetics," said E. "Spell philosophy!" said Mrs. Dunkeroe. Mark wrote, Filosifee. Zangyoy wrote, philusufi, in Chinese. John wrote, Philusophy. Lizzie wrote, I don't know. Beth wrote, HELP HELP. M and E wrote philosophy. Mrs. Dunkeroe took the papers. "I got Super F," said Beth. "I got F," said Yangyoy. "We got EXCELLENT! A! WONDERFUL! AMAZING!" said M and E. "I got Super F,” said Lizzie. "I got B," said John. "I got STUPID loser," said Mark. "Recess!" said Mrs. Dunkeroe. All the other kids ran out while Mrs. Dunkeroe gave M and E the #1 blue ribbon and you know how to spell T-shirts. M and E ran out. M put in her Auld Lang Syne CD and put the volume up loud. Everyone started going around to the music, even M. Really! All the kids that knew how to do cartwheels started doing cartwheels. M and E can do cartwheels. E took a video. M took a picture. Ding, ding, ding! Recess was over. M and E showed off their T-shirts. "Turn off the music!" Mrs. Dunkeroe shouted above the sound of the music. The kids shouted, "No, No, No!!!!" M and E took their play jail and ran away with it with Mrs. Dunkeroe in it. "Kids, school is over today!!!!!!" M and E shouted happily. "Thank you new kids!" the students said. Mark, M, and E ran to the Macane Ranch. "I hated that school day!" Mark screamed and stomped off to his room. M and E could hear him having a temper tantrum! "It was wonderful, Mister!!!" E cried, showing off their stuff. You could still hear Auld Lang Syne. "Who is in the jail?" Lucas asked. "Mrs. Dunkeroe." said M. M and E brought her to their room. "I hate you!!!" Mrs. Dunkeroe growled. M handed her a bowl of oatmeal with six ounces of sugar in it and six ounces of oats in it and one cup of water in it. It also had half a banana in it, all mashed up. They also gave her some apple juice in a baby bottle. "Dinner time!" said Mark. "YUM! YUM! YUM!" shouted Mark. They were having tortillas! M and E ate it. "Let's go horseback riding," said Lucas. They hopped on horses. M and E ran faster than a speeding bullet after them. Then they did a flip high in the air  and
each of them landed on Mark or Lucas's horse. E landed on Lucas's and M
landed on Mark's."I did not know you could do stunts like that!!!!" Lucas screamed, nearly falling off his horse and dropping his rifle. As he leaned down to pick it up as fast as he could, E squirted him in the face. "YOU!!!" started Lucas, but then he remembered that he needed his rifle. They went riding along. Then M stood on Marks head and E stood on M’s head. E then flipped in the air and landed on her head, on M's head. They balanced as Mark rode along. Suddenly, M grabbed the back of Mark's horse and E grabbed M’s shoulders. M flipped them both upside down on Mark's head as he rode along. They rode back to the ranch like that. Lucas handed Mark a bowl of cool whip. M and E grabbed a handful of Cool Whip. "Don't do that!" Lucas yelled and gave Mark some more. M went to the phone. She dialed 555-0325. That was their home phone number and Mom had forwarded her calls. "Hello, This is M. What are you doing?" M said. "I am ice skating in Caribou suits and cotton lined ice skates. Dad is getting some hot chocolate," Mom said. "Oh, well I'm at the Macane Ranch, in the room where the woman was having a baby," said M. "Oh, bye!" said Mom. M heard somebody slam down the receiver. Mark came and said, "Get in your pj's. It's 6:12." "I didn't bring my pj's," M and E said. "Well, go to bed in your undershirts and panties.” "Okay," said M and E. Mark was sleeping in Lucas's room. M and E snuggled in their undershirts and panties under the SOFT covers. This bedtime was much earlier than the bedtime at the Ponderosa. Lucas quietly slipped into his room, slamming the door shut as soon as he got in. "It seems as if he has some secret," E remarked across the room to M. "Yeah," agreed M. M leaned over the side of her bed. "What are you doing?" E whispered. "I am getting my embarrassing dream recorder," said M. It was so dark in Lucas's room that she could not even see in there. M attached the dream-catching pipes to Mark and Lucas. Then, she pressed a button that said POWER, then pressed a button that said 5-10 hours. Mark and Lucas were still sleeping. M pressed a button that said, START. A low rumble started coming through the pipes. It was the embarrassing dream going through. M went back to the guestroom. “Have you started it up?" E asked. "Yes," M replied. M and E slept for two hours. Suddenly they heard beep, beep, beep. "The video is ready," E said. M and E ran out just as the videos popped out, one for Mark and one for Lucas. Each of them came out as the name of the person was said from the automatic machine. M and E labeled the names on the videos. E pressed a button that said, VIDEO CASE. Two video cases came out of the dispenser where the stuff, including the videos came out, each saying, 2 movies in 1! The stars plus the name of the person who had the dream plus the kind of movie it was, like excitement, drama whatever and R or PG13 or PG or G or Y. "Wow! 2 movies in 1. Ten hours! One is 6 hours, the other is 4 hours! And 4 stars for the first and second," E exclaimed as she read Lucas's video case. M and E put the videos under their pillows to keep and watch tomorrow with Lucas and Mark. (With popcorn, of course) M and E slept until 2:14 when they heard a scream! M and E peeked out and saw Lucas running from his room, screaming! Still screaming, Lucas said, "Some machine was in my room!!" M and E burst out laughing. This reminded them of that wonderful time they had at the Ponderosa, laughing their heads off. "Aaaaaaah," M and E said dreamily. It was so funny they started laughing for double reasons!!! M said above the screaming to Lucas, "Press the button that says STORAGE MODE." Lucas pressed the button on the Dream Machine that said STORAGE MODE and brought it to M. She packed it in her bag. Then they went back to sleep and woke up at 10:00 by the sound of Mark yelling with joy. "Short school today! Only to 2:00! Oh Pa! Oh Pa! That's great!" Mark screamed. M and E ate the fluffy, margarine-coated biscuits and ran out the door with Mark. "Wait, don't forget Mrs. Dunkeroe!" said Lucas. M and E gave her a biscuit and freed her. As soon as they opened the door, she was at the school. "I'm glad we did not have anything to say to her!" E remarked. M and E ran to the school. "Hello, KIDDOS! I'm back!" said Mrs. Dunkeroe. All the kids frowned, except for Mark, M and E. "Answer all these questions in 30 sec. At 30 seconds, I will blow my whistle, GO!" Mrs. Dunkeroe cried. John answered the questions in 60 seconds. M and E answered the questions in 6 seconds. Beth answered the questions in 34 seconds. Lizzie answered the questions in 45 seconds. Yangyoy answered the questions in 100 seconds in Chinese. Mark answered the questions in 45 seconds. "M and E, you are smart! Children, please be as smart as these little geniuses! If I were you, I would be happy for these gifted children! Hip Hip Hooray!" Mrs. Dunkeroe cried. It was 10:35 AM. The class applauded. And whistled. And cried, "M and E!" And carried M and E on there heads! And gave M and E high 5’s! "Now settle down, children. We are having a party in the auditorium for M and E," Mrs. Dunkeroe said. The kids (Including Mark) started singing "Thank you M and E, thank you!" to the tune of Goodnight Irene. Then a band came and started singing Rags to Riches. Lucas came bursting in and started singing along as he handed M and E party gowns. E's one was white, trimmed with lace and had a pink bow in the middle, and long sleeves striped with blue lace. M's was light blue trimmed with lace and a bow at the neck. It had long sleeves, which were tight and elegant. Beth came and gave M white slippers with pink lace bows at the tip. Lizzie came and gave E matching slippers. "The party is tomorrow," said Mrs. Dunkeroe. "Recess," Mrs. Dunkeroe said. All the kids ran out. M, John, E, and Lizzie climbed on the monkey bars and ate Hershey Bars out of the Hershey Bar machine. "I have an even fancier machine. It's a Dream Machine and it records embarrassing dreams. It even has its own TV, in case you don't have one. You press some buttons and press START, then Ta-da! It records the dream and a video pops out. I'll bring it to the party! Anybody want to have their Embarrassing Dream recorded?" M asked. "I will!" Lizzie cried. "Where do you live?" M asked. "5661 Blauche St. Santa Fe, NM 30001," replied Lizzie." Recess is over!" they all heard. "Now school is over!" Mrs. Dunkeroe said. M and E left with Mark. "We have a little movie," said M. M and E did this: "Eeneemeenie minee moe. Catch a fellow by the toe, if he hollers, let him go. EEneemeenie minee moe." Lucas was the person who's dream they would watch. "What are you doing? We don't have a TV!" Lucas shouted. While M got the Dream Machine, E made the popcorn. They put the video in the video player. M pressed the button that said PLAY. Note to reader: When the movie is over I'll put a frowny face. This is the video: Lucas was dancing in the bar. Then suddenly, he saw a woman wearing a Lucas Macane T-shirt with a picture of Lucas on it. "Oh, am I famous?" Lucas asked. "Yes Sir." said the woman, curtsying. Then the whole bar started handing Lucas soft drinks. Then he heard a woman’s voice singing, "Oh Lucas, oh Lucas, oh! Please come to us, oh Lucas!!! Oh Lucas!! Oh Lucas, please come to us!! Oh Lucas, oh Lucas ooh! Lucas and Lucas and Lucas, you are great! Oh Lucas! Oh Lucas! Doo doo dum! Oh Lucas please come to us!" "Thank you so much!!" Lucas said. Suddenly a monster came in. All the people in the bar saved Lucas. Mark came in and Lucas said, "You are stupid," said Lucas. "Yahoo!" everyone shouted. A slug crawled on Mark. Lucas put even more slugs on him. "Thank you Lucas! You are are so great! We thank you for all you have done! It is great that you were born! Thank you Lucas! You are so so great! Thank you for putting the slugs on your son! We hope you do it again! Thank you Lucas! Thank you! For all you have done! Lucas! Lucas! Rubbabum bum Rubba bum bum! Oh Lucas! So wonderful! Thank you Lucas! Thank you so!" Lucas heard them singing. Then M and E came and made the people hate Lucas. "Help! Help!" Lucas screamed. :( Then M and E pressed the button that said eject. The video popped out. "I had that dream last night!" Lucas gasped. It was 1 minute before 8:00, alias-8:00 PM! M and E went to bed in their undershirts and panties. M suddenly woke up and rode on Mark's horse to Santa Fe. Of course she brought the Dream Machine. She hooked it up to Lizzie. And then pressed the button that said POWER, then the one that said HALF AN HOUR then then START. It made the video that said Y, ***Lizzie Luquerly. M rode back to the Macane Ranch, with the video and dream machine. M went back to sleep. E had put up her video camera in the den. M and E woke up at 6. M and E took a bath. Then they got on their party gowns and slippers. M put on her birthstone ring that was a matching blue to her dress. She wore her birthstone necklace. M also put on her blue ribbon. E put on her pearl necklace and her birthstone ring that was a dark red. She wore her white hairbow. Also, she wore her white stockings. M and E ran to the kitchen. Lucas was handing Mark little cakes sprinkled with sugar to bring to the party. Lucas gave M and E yellow jackets trimmed with lace. He also gave them little cakes, plus a quick breakfast of toast, a mini eggroll, and a tortilla. They also drank some water. M and E ran to the party while Lucas dressed and got ready to go. M and E were holding the Dream Machine and baskets of cakes. They ran to the school and noticed that Mark was in a blue suit. Then they saw John and his parents. Mrs. Devern turned around and asked, "Are you Lizzie Luquerly and Beth Grethfrow?" "No, ma’am. We are M and E," M and E said. Mrs. Devern was wearing a pink jacket, a blue dress and black shoes. Mr. Devern was wearing a suit like Mark's. Lucas came running out in a tuxedo. M and E ran to a mud pile and jumped into it. As they approached the party, they looked down at their shoes. The shoes were covered with mud. Lucas was very insulted when he saw that M was speaking rudely of him to Mrs. Dunkeroe. "Lucas has to try four times to tie his shoelaces," M said. M politely SCREAMED, "MOVIEEEEEEEEE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" in a rather loud fashion. Mrs. Dunkeroe was covering her ears. Lucas served the children a generous amount of sugar cubes in empty yogurt bottles. "Thank, you," said John Devern. M and E took the two extra yogurt bottles, which were meant to be for Lucas and Mrs. Dunkeroe. Lucas had a crush on her. Well, M and E thought so. M came out with her Dream Machine. "Hullo, everyone!!!!" says M, breaking the silence. She turned on the dream machine and put in the video. Note to reader: When the dream is over, I will put a frowny face. Lizzie was having a birthday party. Suddenly everyone was singing HAPPY BIRRRRTHDAY TWO YOU, HAPPY BIRRRRTHDAY TWO YOU! "Help! Help! That's not how to spell it!" Lizzie was yelling. They kept on singing and singing. Lizzie started crying. "But, Lizzie, aren't you COLD?" Lizzie screamed and screamed, "STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!” No presents for bad little girls!!" her dad yelled. "No, no daddy!! Please!" Lizzie yelled. :( Lizzie giggled as E took out the video. A loud applause came from the auditorium, except from Lucas. Lucas’ stomach was growling. He was very hungry. Mark said, "GO!" and a band came out and loudly began playing Rags to Riches. Mrs. Dunkeroe started clapping and dancing with Lucas. Mrs. Dunkeroe's blue eyes flashed as her red skirt twirled in the air. The auditorium was filled with the sound of adult's shoes slamming on the floor as all the adults started dancing. They sang, "Oh M and E, oh thank you for this party!" Now the kids were dancing. M and E flashed by. John and Mark wished they were teenagers and M and E were their girlfriends. The music stopped and M, E, and Mark gave out the little cakes. Lucas was finishing the party when M and E went to the Macane ranch. They had the keys. They went inside and went to Lucas's room. The doorknob was shaped like a rifle. When you pull the trigger the door swings open. "Lucas has a rifle room!" said E, with excitement! Yes! He had rifle wallpaper, rifle dresser, rifle sheets and blanket, rifle everything! M had not seen the room because it was dark. She did not notice the door because it was wide open! Lucas had them. He threw them out of his room. Then Mom and Dad came. And then they rode home. THE END 10/2/07 |
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